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I received a friend request from one Mr Abishek Kumar on facebook. I am just a month old on facebook and this request was kind of intriguing.  I was wondering if any of my school buddies managed to find me out. But no, it was a total stranger. I checked out his profile…. 300 and odd friends!! and it looked like a proper profile. And he was from Pakistan. As all of you would have imagined, without a second thought, I ignored the invite. I would have done the same if I had received an invite from an Indian stranger. But there is sure something that’s too strange when it’s something from Pakistan.

What should have prompted me to instantly ignore that request even without a second thought? After all it was a social networking site.

I sat thinking about this much later. All I could think of was the hatred that was lingering between the two countries that were formerly one. Another important factor is the blatant underdevelopment that prevails. But what restricts us from making friends with them? With Pakistan, with Pakistanis??? Why is the stadium euphoric when a match is between India and Pakistan? The hatred is carried out even to sports!! Rather than hatred its an aggresive spirit against Pakistan. Why is it totally different when it comes to Pakistan?

The core purpose of networking sites itself is to make new friends, network and build your circle of friends. And such sites do not have geographical barriers. I have been lucky enough to get to my school friends and managed to make new friends too. 🙂

Why is the scenario different when it comes to Pakistan???? Give in your thoughts and opinions.

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17 Comments

  1. Hi,

    The reason behind it may be the kind of mind set up against the pakis. it is like we tend not to think out of the box wen it cums to the case of pakistanis..I don’t have a set criteria or a picture in my mind of the type of people I’d like to befriend. I don’t have a problem with befriending anyone regardless of their background.So wat i conclude is it is only b’coz of past indo-pak bitter relationship everybody’s thought against them is bit different..but they are also worth being our best of frens..

    • Yeah i do c ur point bhuv, but the larger picture is there is so much of hatred and mistrust whenb it comes to the very word “Pakistan”. So majority of them are apprehensive when it comes to such requests. Sad…

        • Bhuvan!!!
        • Posted May 5, 2009 at 4:23 pm
        • Permalink

        Not all the fingers in a hand are same Nadhi, we do have good people in pakistan n bad people in India.why do u take the larger picture of hatred n mistrust into account, take the lil good things there n try taking them into consideration. i do hav a couple of pakistani frens and trust me they are simply superb human beings…don go by the majority, take the other side around n make sure ur side has the majority…Think bout it 🙂

  2. It is not simple. The hatred has been there ever since the partition (1947) and has been carried on due to various intervention from Pak, including their alleged involvement in 26/11 Mumbai attack. Well! we cant blame the Pak common man for the terrorist attack or the political/administrative inefficiency of Pakisthan government.
    I happened to meet many Pakistanis and gained few friends also when I lived in Dubai.They are quite like any one of us. They like to befriend us ..
    Why not we (India) haven’t given them any trouble in the 60 odd years.
    We are, I think, probably cautious ‘coz we fear their link with the terrorists & see them as trouble makers (Can they blame us?) just as we are a little weary of Srilankan Tamils.
    The mind setup is due to the past experiences…
    India’s peace stance (a tough one, indeed) despite the repeated terror attacks & esp after 26/11, should probably teach us, Indians, something.

    • I agree with harinee.. I’m living here in
      Sharjah for the past 11 years and i have few
      pakistanis as neighbours and they are really
      really good hearted people. But when it come
      to cricket & country they won’t let their
      country down like Indians. They
      hate terrorists from jihadi/madrsas like many
      aam admi indians.
      So basically our mindset needs to be changed.

  3. Hi ..what i feel is that we indians have the tendency to relate pakistan to terror and terrorism, forgetting the word humanity. People have become so obsessed with the terms Terrorism Muslims and Pakistan.When made the brains think practically, then people will realise the fact.Its all what mind says. Make your mind practical and think logically, thus you will find solution and also void of misunderstanding and underestimation.

  4. @Nadhiya… Its high time that we stop thinking this way. Coz the hatred is between Indian Politicians and Pakistani Politicians. It because the way we think, the politicians are taking all the more advantage of it. Its high time for us to stop thinking on these things and lets get into politics,if we want to change things.. 🙂

  5. Its all in the upbringing. We as kids have always been feeded as pakistan and pakistanis and our enemey. If not by our parents, by friends, or any one else. Its the seniors who have to feed the thought on the youngsters mind about what should be hated and what not.

    just a simple example – If u ask a youngster, where would he like to go, London or islamabad. he would say london. A city from where britishers came n reigned for 200 years. Why? Its just because, we have been fed in childhood that pakistaan is bad.

    And now as the distances decrease, it still prevails in the mind and pops up when we see the word pakistan anywhere, TV, newspaper, and in Social media too!!!

    • @ Sudhi

      Yeah its finally come up to social media now!!!!!!!! london or islamabad…. for all good reasons we would end up in London!!!

  6. Would like to add more: Now that the sensible youngsters know whats right n whats wrong, I am sure the next generation would be sensible too!!!

    • @Bhanu,

      We have been traumatized by terror problems so much that its deeply engraved in our minds and its gone beyond the saturation point.

      I remember reading a book “pundits from pakistan”, wherein the author was denied food at a hotel in pakistan when the waiter came to know that he was a hindu,

      so problems are deeper and ya may be the nextgen would be sensible enough to bring some changes. may be the countries should join hands first for the people to come together. But the way the peace talks are going or rather hate talks, it would probably take a decade more to unite beyond boundaries… 🙂

  7. hey this is a very interesting article!

  8. It’s “hard core hatredness” that has been sown, watered, grown and propagated over the years, generation after generation(It applies to both Ind & Pak); the real inner truth behind the excitement about an Ind-Pak cricket match. The politicians make a living out of it, the media & entertainment industry makes money. The common man is always a fool & a loser.

    • hey thank u so much for ur comment …..

      Do give me ur suggestions and feedback on my blog… still learning…. 🙂

  9. Haven’t really had a friend from Pak, but yeah one needs to be careful on FB and all.

    Nice blog by the way!!

  10. IMO it’s not because of difference between countries, probably profile didn’t manage to appeal you that ways.. Usually on social networking sites we add only those strangers whose profile are appealing in anyways… I may be wrong here but this is what my perception is…

  11. Hi,

    Good post! I have few friends across the border. but the “border” thing came much later, earlier they were just strangers with interesting profile, as Harsh said.. The negative look that comes in mind is majorly due to hatred which floats on the surface, a surface created by people with vested interest, news hungry media also with there own purpose etc. But below the surface all these so called reservations do not exist, when we find somebody or something interesting, we like to swim with them and that time we just forgot about the currents floating far above us. So i feel lets swim along and just forgot what happens above us..This calls for “deep” understanding for things..

    Cheers!


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